Tuesday, November 30, 2010

[Oddsandsods] Alice Cooper on The Who

T
he Who were almost like a dominatrix who inflicted the show on the audience — that definitely influenced me," says Alice Cooper, describing his admiration for the London rockers. "Pete's the best stage guitarist I've ever seen — the best showman, conveying the pure spirit of rock & roll. And he's still up there with his fingers bleeding to this day."
  1. "My Generation" 
    1967
    This was the first time I heard anybody turn their amps up and literally play the feedback. We were 16 years old, our parents had just bought us amps, and here we were in the garage, desperately trying to get a Pete Townshend sound.
  2. "Pictures of Lily"
     1967
    We had no idea that it was about masturbation at first. We just loved hearing a cool story within three minutes. As a lyricist, that's what I wanted to learn how to do.
  3. "Substitute" 1966

  • "The Kids Are Alright" " 1965
    Pete taught me how to write anthems, by making them so general that everyone can say, "That's me."
  • "Out in the Street" 1965 

  • "I'm a Boy" 1966
    A great little tortured nursery rhyme with a little kid who wants to go out and be a boy and bloody his nose, and the overbearing mother who won't let him.
  • "I Can See for Miles" 1967 

  • "Baba O'Riley" 1971
    At first, I thought keyboards watered down rock. It sounded like Pete had found a new toy. But I gradually understood how well those power chords worked against the synth. Perhaps the beginning of New Wave.
  • "5:15" 1973 

  • "Rough Boys" 1980
    You have Pete's sexual ambiguity going on here — it sounds like a gay song. I still don't know exactly what he was trying to say with that song, but I love it, whatever it is. Pete's an amazing mystery.
  •  


    Harold Lepidus
    Bob Dylan Examiner
    Facebook

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    Thursday, November 25, 2010

    Christmas is coming guys - gift hints for your wives ... Something iLife anyhow

    It all began with an iPhone... 
    March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
     
     
    He just loved it. Who wouldn't?



    I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when 
    she
      bought me an iPad.

    My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.




     

    September came by so for her birthday i got my wife an iRon. 



    It was around then that the fight started......


     

    What the wife failed to recognise is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.  Although this inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

    Note - it has completely destroyed the iRoot functionality. 



    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    All we need @IamLittleJohnny you can't be accused of everything

      A teacher goes round her  class asking each of the kids what they need at  home.
    1st kid: "A  computer"
    Teacher replies "That'd  be very useful".
    2nd child says a car  & gets a similar answer.
    Finally she asks Billy  who answers "at my house we don't need  anything."
    The teacher asks  him to think carefully as everyone  needs  something. Billy replies "No I'm  sure. When my sister started  going out with a Muslim, I  remember my dad sayin "Well that's all we f**king  need!"

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    Paddy & Mick Hunting trip

     Irish Hunting Trip

    Two Irishmen flew to  Canada on a hunting trip. They
    chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.

    They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

    The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."

    Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off.

     

    However, while attempting to cross some mountains even on full power the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.

    Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived the crash.

    After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"

    Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. (more…)

                                        

    Simple home remedies that work

    AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!

    1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

    2. TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT-    USE THE SINK.

    3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]

    4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

    5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

    6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.    IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.     IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 

    7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

    DAILY THOUGHT:


    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING
     A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    Monday, November 22, 2010

    Orang-utan and a little baby girl (pics)

     

    July 13th 2010  Back in January we posted about this baby orangutan who had taken a liking to a little girl. Well half a year later,  the two of them have grown a bit, but are still the best of friends.

      
     

          

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    the new anti poaching unit - some of our best guys on the job FW: Game park security in South Africa has been outsourced

    a SomaliA Cruise.. Great Holiday Plan


    Begin forwarded message:


    Sambo’s “Fire for Effect” Cruise Lines
    The ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested Somalia coast
    Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route
    Rates and Availability
    Ship Name
    Starting Price
    Days
    Availability
    Sun Splendor
    $5,200.00
    5
    Fully Booked
    Grand Voyage
    $6,150.00
    7
    Reservations Available
    Horizons IV
    $7,091.00
    10
    Reservations Available
    Horizons III
    $5,200.00
    7
    Fully Booked
    Grand Voyage II
    $6,300.00
    7
    Fully Booked
    Grand Voyage III
    $5,200.00
    5
    Reservations Available
    Coastal  Paradise
    $5,200.00
    7
    Reservations Available
    Coastal  Paradise II
    $8,200.00
    10
    Reservations Available
    Peril Princess
    $5,200.00
    7
    Fully Booked
      Peril Princess II
    $5,200.00
    7
    Reservations Available

     

    We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea ,
    and disembark in Mombasa Kenya , seven adrenaline-charged days later.
    Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room)
    and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).

     

    You'll relax like never before!
    That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you.
    If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard
    Master Gunsmith , Rick Lewis . Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon,
    with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!


    But the best fun of all, of course, is...

     

    ...Pirate Target Practice!

     

    The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!

     

    Weapons rentals:

     

    Weapon Selection
    Price
    Description
    AK-47 Light Assault
    $12.00
    Per Day
    On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day
    with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
    M-16 Full Automatic
    $25.00
    Per Day
    Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo
    attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:
    Barrett M-107 50 Caliber
    $59.00
    Per Day
    Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal
    sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo
    affordably priced at only $29.95.
    RPG Launcher
    $17500
    Per Day

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    A Bloody Great Aussie Poem, Mate


    Begin forwarded message:

     

    Aussie Poem

    The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
    The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
    He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
    The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams

     He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
    And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
    "Typical bloody sheep," he thought, "they've got no common sense,
    "They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."

     The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
    She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
    But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
    And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree. 


    He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
    If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
    Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
    He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.

    He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
    And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
    He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
    He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam

    The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
    He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
    At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
    She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.

    She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
    He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
    Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
    He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.

    The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
    He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away,
    He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
    But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.

    He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
    For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
    And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
    The farmer yelling wildly "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"

    The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
    The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far
    So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
    Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
     

      

    Mr Andrew Johnson


    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    look up an open drain!!!! (pics)


    Begin forwarded message:

    PLEASE READ FIRST
    Florida Power & Light crew putting in lines for an addition to the  Orlando   International   Airport  found the following in a culvert they were using.   

    See  the two (2) pictures  below: 

      

      

      
     

      

       
     
    The gator is/was 18' 2’ long.  The rattlesnake roundup totalled 87.  
    We thank Florida Power & Light for sharing these pictures. 


    Mr Andrew Johnson


    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    Saturday, November 20, 2010

    The history of the middle finger

     

    I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.  Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?  Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.   Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

    Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!   Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!   It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'

    IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

    And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    Thursday, November 18, 2010

    DE-STRESS

     

    De-stress

    Click here to download:
    cid:0FF18240A7434FC6B693705A2B8ADC0A@FlemingPC (51 KB)


    A man was weeding his garden and
    accidentally cut off the tail of their cat which was hiding in the grass.

    The cat was rushed  along with the tail, over to Myer.


    Why Myer??????


    HELLOOOOOOOOO?

    Myer
    is the largest re-tailer in

    Australia 

    Click here to download:
    cid:DB4D197B080D4B4B9DD07E1C4F4D84C1@FlemingPC (81 KB)

    Click here to download:
    cid:DBAECFD2556142849D84940DD7EC924E@FlemingPC (63 KB)

    Click here to download:
    cid:BC164A10ADB54A22A20BC613943AE046@FlemingPC (23 KB)

    Click here to download:
    cid:CEE6000C491240FC90C35DF32296AE7B@FlemingPC (57 KB)

       

    Click here to download:
    cid:6504CF8E90A445A5A72AF0CF8CAD892F@FlemingPC (244 KB)

    TO ALL MY 'NUTTY' FRIENDS....

    Have a fabulous STRESS-FREE day!!!!


     

     

    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    The Gas Company was more than likely BOC. Outstanding $0.00 Pay Up!!!


    This happened to me with a Telstra bill. I took it to the Post Office and Tim behind the counter had never seen such a thing. It wouldn't accept the barcode scan as it has a minimal of $0.05 so I asked him if he could just put a stamp on it and held it as evidence if anything else was to follow which never did. 


    Account idiots! -True Story!

    On Thursday, 24th January 2002 , Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.

    In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia ) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.

    He ignored it and threw it away.  In April he received another bill and threw that one away too.

    The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating that they  were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0..00 by return mail.

    He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.

    The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.

    However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.

    He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.  The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.

    Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.

    The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

    Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the gas company at their own game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00.  The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the gas company nothing at all.

    A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing writing cheque for $0.00.

    After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00 cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail.  The bank could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the computer to crash.

    The following month the man received a letter from the gas company claiming that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps to recover the debt.

    At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against the gas company.  It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks at the local courthouse that he was not joking.

    They subsequently helped him in the drafting of statements which were considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he had been forced to endure during this debacle.

    The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the outcome was this:

    The gas company was ordered to:

    [1]  Immediately rectify their computerised accounts system or Show cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher court for consideration under Company Law.

    [2]  Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by the man.

    [3]  Pay the bank dishonour fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been processed.

    [4]  Pay the claimant's court costs; and

    [5]  Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had caused their client to suffer.

    And all this over $0.00.

    This story can also be viewed on the ABC website.

    Who employs these idiots??

    Remember, these "people" walk among us and breathe the same air we do.  What is worse , they breed !

    This is a true story.




    Posted via email from andjoh's posterous

    So how did that happen? Animals in situations pics