Begin forwarded message:
Subject: FW: [Fwd: Fw: UNPLUG THE CHARGER..]
HINT FOR TODAY
Subject: FW: [Fwd: Fw: UNPLUG THE CHARGER..]
HINT FOR TODAY
at that time a call came in and he answered it
with the charging
Instrument still connected
to the outlet.
a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell
and the young man was
thrown to the floor with a heavy thud. As you
the phone actually exploded.
parents rushed to the room only to find him
unconscious, with a weak
heartbeat and burnt
was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was
pronounced dead on arrival.
Cell phones are a
very useful modern invention.
we must be aware that it can also be an
instrument of death.
Never use the cell phone
while it is hooked to the electrical outlet! If
you are charging the cell phone and a call comes
in, unplug it from the charger and
FORWARD THIS TO THE PEOPLE THAT
MATTER IN YOUR LIFE!!!! Whether or not they have a cell phone. They
can also inform others who
Subject: FW: [Fwd: Fwd: FW: Don't mess with the red back]
Australia's "Red Back" Spider
But it did not take the spider long to bite it. A red mark on the snake's stomach was evidence of where the spider had started eating it. Throughout Tuesday, the spider checked on her prey, but on Wednesday she rolled it up and started spinning a web around it. She also kept lifting it higher off the ground, while continually snacking on it.
An office receptionist got the shock of her life when she found a 70cm long snake entangled in the web of a spider.
Tania Robertson, a receptionist at an electrical firm, came in to work on Tuesday and spotted the sight next to a desk in her office. The snake, which had obviously died from the spider's poisonous bite, was off the ground and caught up in the web.
Leon Lotz of the arachnology department at the National Museum said it was only the second time that he had heard of a snake getting caught in a spider's web. It is believed the snake got caught in the web on the Monday night.
Come to Australia, where our spiders eat our snakes!
Subject: FW: Standard Pricing Procedure
just love the punch line.
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces. 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.'
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, 'How much will a brain cost?'
The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a male brain; $200 for a female brain.'
The moment turned awkward.. Some of the men actually had to'try' to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the women.
A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more than a female brain?'
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the female brains a lot lower because they've been used.'
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO ANY MAN WHOM YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT?
Subject: FW: The Cabbie and The Nun
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies, 'I have a question to ask but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me.. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.' She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: 1, you have to be single and 2, you must be Catholic.' The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!' 'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.' The nun fulfils his fantasy, with a kiss that would
make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?' 'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a fancy dress party.'
Subject: FW: I want to Send little Johnny to Washington
Thanks to "Johnny" for forwarding this...
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly,
"My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach
for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone
that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher...
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the
teacher's desk. "$2, 467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,
"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I
gave everybody who walked by a free sample."
They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!"
Then I would say,” It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
I used the government approach of giving everyone something they think they want and
then charging them for cleaning up the mess I caused.
The teacher was speechless. . . . . . . .
Subject: FW: Ah-the Iirish are so logical
Apologies to all my Irish friends - but this is sooooo funny!
Ah--the Irish are so logical!
The Irish Millionaire.
Mick, from Dublin ,appeared on
'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'
and towards the end of the program
had already won 500,000 euros.
"You've done very well so far,"
said Chris Tarrant,
the show's presenter,
"but for a million euros
you've only got one life-line left ?
phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question.....
will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"
"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
''so I'll use last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ."
Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple......
It's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm fookin sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris,
"I'll go wit Cuckoo as my answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is, Sir."
There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer!
Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"
The next night,
Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy?
How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"
"Because he lives in a Fookin clock!"
Subject: FW: Where Did Maxine Come From?
Where Did Maxine Come From? This is interesting. I never knew who the creator of Maxine was! After the Maxine jokes there is a summary on how she was created and a photo of her creator. More from the gal everyone loves and admires, and you finally get to meet her creator at the end.
Hummmmmm! How True.
John Wagner, Hallmark artist since 1970, says Maxine was inspired by his mother, his maiden aunts and his grandmother, the woman who bought him art lessons when 'fill in the pumpkins' was about the extent of his art classes at St. John's Catholic School in Leonia, N.J.
John remembers doodling as a preschooler and says both his grandmother and his mother encouraged his artistic interests. He eventually attended the Vesper George School of Art in Boston and landed at Hallmark as part of a new artists group. But it was the birth of the humorous Shoebox Greetings (a tiny little division of Hallmark) in 1986 that added a new dimension to John's professional life. The Shoebox way of seeing the world unleashed his talents and he created Maxine.'Cartoonists are sensitive to the insanities of the world; we just try to humanize them,' John says. 'If Maxine can get a laugh out of someone who feels lonely or someone who is getting older and hates the thought of another birthday, or if she can make someone chuckle about stressful interpersonal relationships, then I'm happy. Putting a smile on someone's face is what it's all about.'Those smiles have led to Maxine's becoming a bit of a celebrity. She (and John) have been the subject of media stories, including People, USA Today, Good Morning America, The Wall Street Journal, St. Petersburg (FL) Times, and Las Vegas Journal-Review, and they have been included in a major Associated Press story. Collector and trade publications have reported fans nationwide are collecting Maxine items. Letters from consumers and fans to John and Maxine reveal a very personal connection to Maxine.
Many people say they are just like her. Why the name 'Maxine'? 'People at Shoebox started referring to the character as 'John Wagner's old lady,' and I knew that would get me into trouble with my wife,' John says. The Shoebox team had a contest among themselves to name the character and three of the approximately 30 entries suggested 'Maxine'. John says the name is perfect.John, who says he's humbled by such acceptance of Maxine, admits he's proud of her.Now you know the story of how Maxine came to be.
SOME NEW MAXINES !!!
I haven't seen these before. Good ones.
Subject: FW: great pics
You have to admit there are some great animal shots here, trouble is we are softies where animals are concerned anywayRegards to you all