Monday, February 28, 2011

Worst Nightmare



I THINK THIS GUY HAS IT ALL COVERED. I COULDN'T SPOT ANYTHING HE LEFT OUT.

Amen to this, I can't think of a thing I'd change about this statement.  




I Am the Labor Parties Worst Nightmare. 
I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, God fearing Australian . 
I am a hard working Australian and l work long hours to earn a living. 

I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don't push it on others. 
I  drive Australian-made cars, and I believe in Australian products and buy them whenever I can. 

I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some bloody governmental functionary, Labor/Greens or Liberal, that wants to share it with others who don't work! 

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way! 

I think owning a home doesn't make you a capitalist; it makes you a smart Australian

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it! 

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English.

I believe there should be no other language option. 

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to. 
  
My heroes are , Fellow Australians,  and John Wayne, Slim Dusty ,Roy Rogers,and Henry Ford, who invented the most awesome car

I don't hate the rich, but hate the way they are always find ways to pay less taxes
I don't pity the poor ,I hate the way they always crying that they are hard done by!! 

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it. 

I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you! 

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! 

This is AUSTRALIA ....We like it the way it is and more so the way it was ...so stop trying to change it to look like Britain ,USA ,Russia or China , or some other socialist country! 

If you were born or legally migrated here and don't like it... you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.  (And take Julia Gillard and her group with you.) 

I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the Lodge, the seat of our biggest problems. 

I want to know exactly, where the "Do Gooder's " get their money from, and why are they always part of the problem and not the solution? 

Can I get an AMEN on that one? 

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what race, color or creed you are, but not just because you happen to be an illegal alien and scream that they are "RACISTS PIGS"

.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license. I think it's good....

 

I hope you are not too stupid to claim to know how our electoral ballot system works, The Politician's don't.so what hope have we??

 

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause....  Get a job and do your part to support yourself and your family! 

I believe that it doesn't take all the intellectuals to raise a child, it takes two parents.... 

I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think! 

I believe the Australian/Indigenous flag's should be the only one's allowed to be flown in  Australia ! 

If this makes me a BAD Australian, then yes, I'm a BAD Australian

If you are a BAD Australian too, please forward this to everyone you know.... 

We want our country back! 
My Country..... 
I hope this offends all illegal aliens. 

My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Boer War.

My grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in the  the World Wars 1&2
My grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the Depression of 32.
My father watched as his friends died in Korea
I watched as my friends died in  Vietnam ,East Timor & Desert Storm.
Our son's and daughters watched & bled as their friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq .. None of them died for the Afghanistan and Iraq Flag. Every Australian died for the Australian flag. 

At a Victorian high school foreign students raised a  Middle East flag on a school flag pole, Australian students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down. 

West Australian  high school students were sent home , because they wore T-shirts with the Australian/Indigenous  flag printed on them. 

Enough is enough 

This message needs to be viewed by every Australian; and every Australian needs to stand up for  Australia . 

We've bent over to appease the Aussie-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand. 

I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the Australian flag. 

If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know.  I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list. 

And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message. 

AUSTRALIANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS ! 

Let me make this clear! THIS IS OUR COUNTRY ! 

This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration ! 

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally: 

1. Get  a sponsor !
2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past ! 
3. Live by OUR rules ! Dress as we ,Australians Do 
4. Get a job ! 
5. Pay YOUR Taxes ! 
6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it ! 
7. NOW find a place to lay your head ! 

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE  PART OF THE PROBLEM ! 

We've gone so far the other way .. . .  bent over backwards not to offend anyone. 

Only AUSTRALIANS seems to care when Australian Citizens are being offended ! 

WAKE UP  AUSTRALIA ! ! ! 

If you do not Pass this on, may your fingers cramp ! 

Made in AUSTRALIA & DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!!!

 

 

 

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Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Few Funnies (comics)

Something to brighten up your day!








 



WATER SKIING IN VIET NAM





POLISH  GOLFER!!!!


 
 

 


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Friday, February 25, 2011

Is this your Grandma (pics)


GRANDMA

 


So what’s your excuse???
Mine is that I don’t have pink panties like that.  



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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Baby Faces photos from Getty Images

Newborn baby boy (0-3 months), eyes closed, close-up
#200013710-001 Newborn baby boy (0-3 months), eyes closed, close-up
Newborn baby boy (0-3 months), eyes closed, close-up
http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/200013710-001


Baby boy's face on balloon, close-up (digital composite)
#sb10064097m-001 Baby boy's face on balloon, close-up (digital composite)
Baby boy's face on balloon, close-up (digital composite)
http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/sb10064097m-001

All contents © copyright 1999-2010 Getty Images, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Grandparents and what their Grand Kids tell them

Subject: Grandparents

 

 
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse, took out her teeth and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond.. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6.. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13.. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

SEND THIS TO OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE.

IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY




 


 


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Friday, February 18, 2011

TRUE STORY OF HOW THE INTERNET STARTED!

How the Internet started:-

A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):

Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here’s the TRUE story.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.  Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband: “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: “How, dear?”

And Dot replied: “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.

And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.  Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever  having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.  It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham’s drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business.  But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading, as doth the greedy horsefly taketh to camel dung.

They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum maker in the land.

And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say: “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.  He said: “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied: “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”  “YAHOO,” said Abraham, and because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.  It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)

And that is how it all began.

Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuly!!!

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New dictionary definitions - SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. More…

These are so apt they should be in a dictionary. 

ADULT: 
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. 

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BEAUTY PARLOR: 
A place where women curl up and dye. 
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CANNIBAL: 
Someone who is fed up with people. 
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CHICKENS: 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
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COMMITTEE: 
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. 
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DUST: 
Mud with the juice squeezed out. 
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EGOTIST: 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 
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HANDKERCHIEF: 
Cold Storage. 
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INFLATION: 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. 
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MOSQUITO: 
An insect that makes you like flies better. 
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RAISIN: 
Grape with sunburn.
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SECRET: 
Something you tell to one person at a time.
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SKELETON: 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
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TOOTHACHE: 
The pain that drives you to extraction.
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TOMORROW: 
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
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YAWN: 
An honest opinion openly expressed.
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and MY Favourite!! 
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WRINKLES: 
Something other people have, similar to my character lines. 
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