Fwd: We was brung up proper!-Good old days (plus dripping)

Begin forwarded message:

AHHHH THE GOOD OLD DAYS Add to the diet plenty of dripping!!! (Fat collected from beef and lamb usually) Bread and dripping.. chips cooked in dripping etc etc WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER!!"And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's ! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips wrapped in newspaper, no pizza shops, McDonald's , KFC, Subway or Nandos. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because........ WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY , no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents. Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time... And mum used to make Christmas Pudding with thrupences in it, if we had extra she would put sixpneces in We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays, We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet! RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and bully's always ruled the playground at school. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla' We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL ! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were. PS -The big type is because our eyes are not too good at our age anymore

Fwd: Lost in Translation

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Lost in translation -–– 43 belly-laughs  In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking.

Pass the Butter

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys.  
When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the
money into the research wanted a payback so they put their  
heads together to figure out what to do with this product to
get their money back.  
 
It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added
the yellow colouring and sold it to people to use in place of
butter.  How do you like it?
They have come out  with some clever new flavourings....    
 
DO  YOU KNOW.. 
The difference between margarine and butter?
   
Read on to the end...gets very interesting!
    
Both  have the same amount of calories. 
 
Butter  is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; 
compared to 5 grams for margarine. 
 
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women
by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according
to a recent  Harvard  Medical Study. 
 
Eating butter increases the absorption of
many other nutrients in other foods. 
 
Butter  has many nutritional benefits where margarine has
a few and only because  they are added! 
 
Butter  tastes much better than margarine
and it can enhance the flavours of other foods. 
 
Butter  has been around for centuries where margarine has
been around for less than 100 years . 
 
And now, for Margarine.. 
 
Very High in Trans fatty acids. 
 
Triples risk of coronary heart disease ... 
 
Increases  total cholesterol and LDL (this
is the bad cholesterol) and  lowers HDL
cholesterol, (the good cholesterol) 
 
Increases  the risk of cancers up to five times.. 
 
Lowers quality of breast milk. 
 
Decreases immune response. 
 
Decreases  insulin response. 
 
And  here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART
THAT  IS  VERY INTERESTING! 
 
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being 
PLASTIC... and shares 27 ingredients withPAINT 
 
These facts alone were enough to have me
avoiding margarine for life  and anything else that is
hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is  added,  changing the
molecular structure of the  substance).  
  
You  can try this yourself: 
 
Purchase  a tub of margarine and leave
it open in your garage or shaded  area.  Within a
couple of days you will notice a couple of things: 
 
*  no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies
will go near it  (that should tell you something) 
 
*  it does not rot or smell differently because
it has no nutritional value ;
nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny
weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.  Why?
Because it is nearly plastic .
Would you melt your Tupperware and  spread
that  on your toast?   
 

 
Chinese Proverb: 
 
When someone shares something of value with
you and you benefit from it,  you have a  moral
obligation to share it with others.
   
PASS the BUTTER PLEASE