Thursday, August 11, 2011

Be Warned - completely bad taste ... but @#$%^* funny

  • I just had a bloke at the door asking if I wanted to buy raffle tickets for black orphans.  I told him with my luck  - I'd probably win one.
  • Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Northam Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."  
  • My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a wank.I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year.  You want to stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
  • Question - are there too many immigrants in Britain?  17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
  • Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding.  Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going. 
  • The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!
  • Today, in an opinion poll, I was asked 'If you could eliminate a race from the 2012 Olympics, which would it be?'  I said 'Niggers and  Asians'.  Apparently most people said the 10,000 metres!! 
  • Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of White-out.  I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
  • Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line.  She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back.
  • Some Japanese tourists just asked me to take a picture of them. When I said "Wave" they ran like the clappers!


Hey!! I just pass 'em along!

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