The people in the blue car had a 25-litre bucket of paint on the back seat.. (pics)

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The ambulance driver wouldn't let the female paramedic out of the ambulance because she couldn’t stop laughing, he said it wasn’t professional

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The people in the blue car had a 25-litre bucket of paint on the back seat..

 

 
 

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Ambush in Iraq.(Video)

This happened outside the gate at a forward operating location in
Iraq...keep your eye on the slow moving truck coming down the road towards
you......THIS is the type of explosions that U.S. troops are dealing
with...not the kind you see on television or the movies..

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Download now or watch on posterous

VBIED_0001.wmv (5908 KB)

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Honey-Do List-from a guy! (Sample DYI Pics)

"You just can't please a woman!" I just don't understand my wife.   She's always nagging me to keep things around the house fixed up . . ... I replaced the broken door latch on her car.. I installed new faucets in the kitchen sink..   I fixed the sagging kitchen cabinets. I replaced the rotten steps by the front door. She wanted a Porta-Potty" for when we go camping. She wanted more privacy in the bathroom I fixed everything she wanted.......   And still, she isn't happy! It just goes to show you that no matter how hard you try, you just can't please a woman!

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Stella Awards (only in America)

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stellas for this past year  --  2010:

*SEVENTH PLACE* 

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son 

Start scratching! 

* SIXTH PLACE * 

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. 

Scratch some more.... 

* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more... 

Double hand scratching after this one.. 

*FOURTH PLACE* 

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun. 

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot.. 

* THIRD PLACE * 

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions? 

Only two more so ease up on the scratching... 

*SECOND PLACE* 

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure. 

Ok. Here we go!!

* FIRST PLACE * 

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? 
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

If you think the court system is out of control, be sure to pass this one on.

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I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name: more…

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where  do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa.   One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Nigerians and Zimbabweans is not the correct answer  I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.     My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she sucks at snooker and pool There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Durban but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache"      Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on Facebook. I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive !" Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend !!      Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ... "I hope the  porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”      The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our hose pipe only reaches the bottom of the garden

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Take your Fork from linda klump

I received this from a friend and wanted to share it with all of you...

Woman and a Fork  There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. 'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly.. 'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply. 'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.' The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked. 'Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor. The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come.' The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and  they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand.. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled.  During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel  , indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share  .... being friends with someone is not an opportunity, but a sweet responsibility. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND...and I'll bet this will be an email they do remember, every time they pick up a fork.!  And  just remember...keep your fork!

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Bear Quints....once in a lifetime Photo

Bear Quint's....once in a lifetime Photo Black bears typically have two cubs; rarely, one or three.  In 2007, in northern New Hampshire , a black bear sow gave birth to five healthy young. There were two or three reports of sows with as many as 4 cubs, but five was, and is, very extraordinary.  The photographer learned of them shortly after they emerged from their den and set a goal of photographing all five cubs with their mom - no matter how much time and effort was involved. He knew the trail they followed on a fairly regular basis, usually shortly before dark. After spending nearly four hours a day, seven days a week, for more than six weeks, he had that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and photographed them.  He used the equivalent of a very fast film speed on his digital camera. The print is properly focused and well exposed, with all six bears posing as if they were in a studio for a family portrait.   The photographer stayed in touch with other people who saw the bears during the summer and into the fall hunting season. All six bears continued to thrive. As time for hibernation approached, he found still more folks who had seen them, and everything remained OK. The photographer stayed away from the bears because he was concerned that they might become habituated to him, or to people in general, and treat them as approachable friends. This could easily become dangerous for both man and animal. After Halloween, no further reports and he could only hope the bears survived until they hibernated. This spring, just before the snow disappeared, all six bears came out of their den and wandered all over the same familiar territory they trekked in the spring of 2007. The photographer saw them before mid-April and dreamed nightly of taking another family portrait, a highly improbable second once-in-a-lifetime photograph. On 25 April 2008, he achieved his dream.   When something as magical as this happens between man and animal, Native Americans say, "We have walked together in the shadow of a rainbow."  And so it is with humility and great pleasure that I share these exhilarating photos with you.                                       Do pass them on!

 

 

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